KC Warpaint 3,234 Posted February 16, 2016 Share Posted February 16, 2016 Need to confront her in private directly and do it now. i think doing it privately would be an insane mistake, if she was trying to hit on you and you spurn her advances then all she has to do is say you were the one doing all of this and your ass would be gone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azchief21 5,278 Posted February 16, 2016 Author Share Posted February 16, 2016 i think doing it privately would be an insane mistake, if she was trying to hit on you and you spurn her advances then all she has to do is say you were the one doing all of this and your ass would be gone I agree. Have a witness or 6. But I think you should just absolutely avoid til April. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KCSLC2008 606 Posted February 16, 2016 Share Posted February 16, 2016 Thank you for all your advice. I told one of my coworkers that I've been a friend with for the last three years and he's not one to gossip. I emailed myself the details of what happened and what I was going to do, added a password to the email. Going to avoid the woman and if needed, give an excuse for my friend to be there, too (you know, complicated case for fresh eyes, etc.) if there's something we need to do together. I think I would take Wilkie's advice if she weren't gone in April. She better be gone, no changing one's mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wilkie 1,518 Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 You guys all know I've dealt with a lot of this stuff over 40 years. If you confront her privately, chances are it will stop. She cannot retaliate and say it was you doing the harassing because it is unprovable. At the same time, if you confront her over witnesses you take away her dignity and you have made an enemy for life. And you risk the possibility of being set up. Personally I would not wait until April and I do not think avoiding her is a good plan. I suppose we can somewhat empathize with how younger attractive women feel when harassed by older bosses. Don't know. If you have any HR person in your firm, suggest you contact them today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KC Warpaint 3,234 Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 You guys all know I've dealt with a lot of this stuff over 40 years. If you confront her privately, chances are it will stop. She cannot retaliate and say it was you doing the harassing because it is unprovable. At the same time, if you confront her over witnesses you take away her dignity and you have made an enemy for life. And you risk the possibility of being set up. Personally I would not wait until April and I do not think avoiding her is a good plan. I suppose we can somewhat empathize with how younger attractive women feel when harassed by older bosses. Don't know. If you have any HR person in your firm, suggest you contact them today. doesn't seem like he cares if she becomes an enemy, he just wants her to leave him alone and leave in april and i was taught from my time in the military to never have a private closed door meeting with a member of the opposite sex without others present....can lead to a he said / she said situation and the male almost always comes out on the losing end Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robgar 1,046 Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 I agree with Wilkie, talk to HR about this incident, and do so pronto. As for me.. Lead Senior Systems Engineer (devops) /Security Engineer/Network Engineer Linux contributor FreeBSD contributor OpenBSD contributor Co Founder of DragonflyBSD Avid Golfer.. RG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robgar 1,046 Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Also in regards to the woman in the office how you word this is important. Use words like making you feel uncomfortable in the office. Making you not want to come to work because you will have to deal with her. These are somehow magic phrases... RG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robgar 1,046 Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 I guess I will tell you guys what pissed me off. I have a coworker who came to get some help on something and she came in and got close to me (but not touching) and I think nothing of it because she's actively working on what I was teaching her. She then puts her hand on my back and starts rubbing it and pressing against me. This is irrelevant, but she is 51 and unattractive as hell. And I am pissed because I feel like if it were the other way around I would get in trouble. If I got her in trouble, she could just accuse me of something. So I did everything I could to get out of the way without pissing her off so she would not accuse me of anything. I have a wife and kids that I love and a job I need to keep. Safe to say I'm not helping her anymore. I can't tell my wife because she'd go do something and I don't know what the woman would do or say. Fuck, what did I do? I never joked with her or led her on. She knows I have kids and I've talked in groups about them. She's here until April so I feel that I just have to get through two months avoiding her. Also spend a lot of time talking about your wife/GF or significant other.. This has been of great benefit to me. In similar cases. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KC Warpaint 3,234 Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 I agree with Wilkie, talk to HR about this incident, and do so pronto. As for me.. Lead Senior Systems Engineer (devops) /Security Engineer/Network Engineer Linux contributor FreeBSD contributor OpenBSD contributor Co Founder of DragonflyBSD Avid Golfer.. RG wilkie never said talk to HR, he suggested to confront the individual directly. It looks like we all have our opinions on how to tackle this and in the end we are not the ones that have to handle it...good luck KCSLC2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kccrow 529 Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Hope you figure it out KCSLC, but if it were me I would have immediately reported the incident to HR. Even if they didn't do anything about it right away, there would be a paper trail for the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wilkie 1,518 Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 As to who I am.....retired lawyer. Specialty was domestic relations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KCSLC2008 606 Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Crazy world. Went to talk to HR, only to hear she was fired last night. Fired for cause (not sure why they told me that), not quit. Still trying to figure out what happened, but one of my male colleagues that she worked with isn't here either. Not sure if he's sick, fired, suspended, on vacation, etc. Not even sure why she's gone. Didn't think it appropriate to ask why. I noted what happened but have no idea what's next. I made sure they noted that my report was after she was fired for other reasons. Asked my other colleague friend I referred to in another post if he knew, he doesn't yet. Didn't report it himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldtimer 8,686 Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 talk about thread swerve.man o man. Blue Collar worker surrounded by some of the dumbest sumbitches you ever tried to have an intellectual conversation with..but they are good guys so it could be worse. Hard to soar with Eagles when your surrounded by Turkeys. Looking to be semi retired and a Tree Farmer/Hunting Outfitter here soon tho. Guests are by invite only but the price is reasonable and the food kicks ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robgar 1,046 Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 You guys all know I've dealt with a lot of this stuff over 40 years. If you confront her privately, chances are it will stop. She cannot retaliate and say it was you doing the harassing because it is unprovable. At the same time, if you confront her over witnesses you take away her dignity and you have made an enemy for life. And you risk the possibility of being set up. Personally I would not wait until April and I do not think avoiding her is a good plan. I suppose we can somewhat empathize with how younger attractive women feel when harassed by older bosses. Don't know. If you have any HR person in your firm, suggest you contact them today. Repeat the last line again slowly... wilkie never said talk to HR, he suggested to confront the individual directly. It looks like we all have our opinions on how to tackle this and in the end we are not the ones that have to handle it...good luck KCSLC2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieHard 2,061 Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 Congrats man. That is good news. Glad to hear you don't have to deal with it anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wilkie 1,518 Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 K A R M A Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gil 243 Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 Voice over internet protocol? yep Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilyous2 884 Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 Clinical and anatomic pathologist. Jazz trumpet player on weekends. Retired from both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gil 243 Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 Clinical and anatomic pathologist. Jazz trumpet player on weekends. Retired from both. Noooooooo...never give up the music! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilyous2 884 Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 Noooooooo...never give up the music! Hi, Gil!. That is what many have told me, but since starting some seizure meds, I can only read a few measures ahead at a time, and my solos are more repetitious and less imaginative. Better to go out while I'm still ahead. Haven't played since October. 60 years on a horn is a good run. No regrets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SEMO 6,811 Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 Hi, Gil!. That is what many have told me, but since starting some seizure meds, I can only read a few measures ahead at a time, and my solos are more repetitious and less imaginative. Better to go out while I'm still ahead. Haven't played since October. 60 years on a horn is a good run. No regrets. Praying that your health improves, Bil! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilyous2 884 Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 Praying that your health improves, Bil! Its fine, Gil. Really. I’m on the treadmill 30 min. per day, lift weights, and hike with the dogs every day. I just developed a little seizure disorder a few years ago around the time I had a heart valve replaced. It took a couple of years to find just the right combination that stopped the episodes but did not make me sleepy. Haven’t had an episode since Nov. 2014. Back driving with no problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evad 242 Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 Interesting and quite a variety of occupations, although when we were meeting every year thru Festivus or just attending games together, I had come to know quite a few of the group who used to post more regularly (I'm one of those) and a few who still do, I must say it was a lot of fun getting to know other fans personally. I am a numbers guy, have owned and operated a business in pre-press production services for electronic and print media for thirty-three years and have reached retirement age, but as print media dies, so this business shrinks and have continued to work for free the past couple of years so that the few employees left still have a job. The general state of the economy for the last eight to ten years have had a negative effect on small businesses like ours, perhaps that will change in the fall, for the guys here that still must work, I sure hope so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DieHard 2,061 Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 I agree Evad. It is interesting that even people who may seem hard to get along with on the board turn out to be nice nice people. Even B-Stud was a quality individual that I really enjoyed spending time with. Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SEMO 6,811 Posted February 22, 2016 Share Posted February 22, 2016 Its fine, Gil. Really. I’m on the treadmill 30 min. per day, lift weights, and hike with the dogs every day. I just developed a little seizure disorder a few years ago around the time I had a heart valve replaced. It took a couple of years to find just the right combination that stopped the episodes but did not make me sleepy. Haven’t had an episode since Nov. 2014. Back driving with no problems. Are you sure? You just called me Gil. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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